Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
