capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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