They should really pass out barf bags in church
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
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