forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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