ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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