Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
