Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Randomize
