I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
