but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
