i think my mom watched the whole time
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
