My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
This house was built for laser tag.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
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