In the future we'll all be gay
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
im holly from the hills drunk
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
Randomize
