I just saw a hot homeless man
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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