home. puking in laundry basket.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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