Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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