Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
