Quick, to the slutcave!
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
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