Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
