when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
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