you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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