If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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