I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
I love you.
Bad choice
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize