dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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