Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
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