Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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