Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
