Already got asked if we're dating
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Randomize
