There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
