my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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