I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
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