would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
