My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I want her autograph on my taint
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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