dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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