I cannot find my penis.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Randomize
