How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
Randomize