he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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