Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
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