The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
