only if we run a train.
done.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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