Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize