Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
