I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
