she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
