i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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