What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
No subtext here. People are naked.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
