He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize