Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
