I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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