Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Randomize