I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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