I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
