someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
is this the sara with the beer cane?
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize
