We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
