I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Randomize
