My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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