Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
