Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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