Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO