Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
from now on my penis is your penis
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
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