how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
