Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
