I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
