so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
