you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
Randomize
