I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Randomize
