he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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