God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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